Week Two: Identity

This morning before work I decided to read a bit from The Artist's Way. Week Two is underway, so it's time to push forward with the reading. In this week, the topic of crazymakers struck home.

Crazymaker, definition: one who is charming, inventive, and tends to be a destructive force in the lives of others.

They can

• be unreliable
• expect special treatment
• be expensive
• blame others
• zap energy
• create drama

Most importantly they deny what they are doing.  I know the crazymaker in my life. Now it's a matter of trying to separate myself, trying to create boundaries. I've been attempting to do this for several months now with some small success. We'll see what happens as I continue down this road.

Part of my job this week as a "recovering artist" (or at least one who is finding her sense of self) is to go through some of the tasks at the end of this chapter. I could complete each of these tasks this evening and say "See, I'm done!" but I don't think that is the point. Instead I am going to list the tasks and ask this week progresses I'll do something here and there until I reach the end of Week Two.

Tasks:

• Determine where my time goes by listing five major activities and how much time I spent on them, dividing the list by "shoulds" and "wants."
• List 20 things I enjoy doing and the last time I did each thing.
• Out of that list, find two things to do this week -- even if it's only for 15 mintues.
• Re-read my affirmations.
• List ten imaginary lives (things I think in my dreams, if I were another me, I'd do) and see if there's some activity I could do that's related to a pretend Me. (Confession: One imaginary life is be a singer, like a singer of showtunes or Big Band classics. Today, I indulged in that a big by singing "Don't Rain on My Parade" at the top of my lungs in my car. It was no Carnegie Hall, but then again I'm no Barbara. I think we'll call it even for the week.)
• List ten "tiny" changes, then see about setting one in motion.

WOW. That is quite the list! Part of me wants to yell "You're kidding yourself! Where are you going to find time for this?!" And it's true. This week is very busy. And it's winter, the time when I feel like sleeping as soon as the sun goes down (which is, inconveniently, around 5PM right now). But this is a priority in my life. It has to be. I am learning to take care of myself.