Today I had my dissertation defense. Yay and yikes. As you probably know if you follow my blog, I work in education. For a number of years I was a high school teacher and now I work in higher ed. That means that I stand in front of people for a living and I talk. So why is it that I am always nervous when I have to stand and talk in a new context? I don't tend to much makeup on a regular basis (just mascara -- and my tattooed eyeliner, of course), but on days that I know I'll be speaking in front of people then I put on the works because I end up turning the color of a tomato. Seriously. I can't wear dress shirts because I am worried about perspiration and so I end up in blazers and nylons (also usually foreign to me) in an effort to mask my nervousness.
Today was no exception. I spoke in front of my committee and I was nervous. Nevermind that I edit theses and dissertations and know that mine is pretty decent. Nevermind that I have known the members of my committee for a while and I actually work in the same building as they do (although I don't really work with them). I was nervous. And it turns out I had a right to be. I was hoping that I would hear Well done, good and faithful servant, but I knew that was unlikely. Instead I heard "Fix these things and get the updated draft in by Friday morning." That overshadowed the more exciting part -- I'll be done by Friday -- with the more immediate notion of additional loss of sleep between now and then. Oy. Vey. Seriously.
In the meantime I try to remind myself that this was a good response, that dissertations aren't meant to be the be-all-end-all in research, and that I just need to be done.
In slightly more positive news, my contract at my work has been extended through July. Yay! It still means that I will need a new job afterward, but I have a bit more breathing room while I look for something (which will prove difficult because as of today there were fewer than 50 jobs in education in this state -- at least 50 jobs for which I qualify -- and all but three are more than a 60 minute one-way drive -- and I qualify for a lot, so that should give you some indication of the state of things here).
In much more positive news, Kelly over at BlueBirdSews gave me a blogging award today! YAYYYYY!!!! Wasn't that so incredibly sweet? It made my day and brought this sleep-deprived, brain-befuddled girl a bit of a smile and happiness. If you haven't seen her blog you really must visit -- and now that I know that she lives in the Northwest and grows eggplant (which I've never been able to grow successfully), I am definitely going to bug her for her secrets! She also makes the most wonderful quilting tutorials that are perfect for people like me who want to quilt but have no idea how.
I will respond with my good blogger duties and post the award and a bit about me and then pass it along...but not tonight. Now it's time to head to bed. At least it's not 4AM this time. :-)