Thursday, March 22, 2012

Top Five Things You Should Never Say to a Woman Without Children.

A friend of mine -- a wonderful mother with four kids -- recently shared an article entitled 15 Things You Should Never Say to the Mom of a Large Family.  Having grown up as the oldest of seven children and within a community where families ranged from six to thirteen kids, I've heard all of these many times.  (Side note: I don't think of four children as a large family, but I think that's because of the way I was raised.)  I grew into the habit of saying "Yes, I'm the oldest of seven. No, we're not Mormon or Catholic."  There are some choice phrases that my adult self would add to that spiel now if the opportunity presented itself, but thankfully I haven't had to worry about that too much.

Instead, I get a different type of ignorant questions or assumptions thrown my way because I've been married for nearly 11 years and I don't have children -- at least not in the traditional sense.  And so I've decided to write my own blog post.

Top Five Things You Should Never Say to a Woman Without Children

1. You'll never know true love until you have a child. -- Yes, me, Jesus, and Mother Theresa have no concept of love or its power because we are childless.

2. Who will take care of you in your old age? -- Oh, silly me, I forgot. Let me rush right out and have a baby because the only reason to bring a life into this world is so that someone can put me in a home when I turn 80.

3. Want to watch my kids? It'll be good birth control. -- Of course. The only reason I don't have kids is because I babysit frequently, not because I have made an independent conscious decision.

4. You'll never know the pain and self-sacrifice of being a parent. -- See answer #1.  Or read this.

5. You and your spouse are intelligent and financially stable. You'd be good parents. It's your duty to have children. -- I'd like to point out that intelligence and financial stability are wonderful to have when raising kids, but love and the desire to have children and raise them well is even more important. Too many kids in my generation came into the world because their parents felt a "duty." Now they're all in therapy.

And, just for fun, let's throw in a bonus:

6. You'll change your mind. -- Perhaps.  Then again, maybe not.  You probably don't know me very well if you think this.  I also find it funny that people usually say this within a minute or two of yelling at their own children and then saying how wonderful parenthood is.

Perhaps what it all boils down to is this: let people make their own decisions and don't assume that just because you want a particular life that everyone else must want the same.

*steps off soapbox*


  1. Hmmmm. Maybe I should write "5 things you should never say to an unmarried woman". LOVE this!!

  2. On top of that, you never know if someone _wants_ kids and still doesn't have them. Be considerate!!

  3. YES. Your response to #1 is *brilliant* and I will be keeping that sentence in my back pocket for future reference.


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