It's funny how one can have a seemingly insignificant conversation early in the day, only to realize later that all the stars seem to align or the universe is at least trying to send some sort of message. Today was one of those days. My boss came in this afternoon to talk about my contract. I love my job, part time though it may be, but I also know that my contract expires at the end of spring and so my job as I know it may not exist within a few months. My job is funded through grants, so when foundations can't or won't offer to extend the grants (or ask us to write a new proposal), there goes the job-funding.
Part of my work involves managing grants. I love to do this because I love organization and efficiency. And this means that when my job asks that I create a streamlined mini-grant process so that others can apply to our organization for micro-grants, I can do that no problem. And I can do it in such a way that my boss, someone experienced with grants, is impressed. So impressed, in fact, that he suggested I consider creating a for-profit or non-profit business where I help organizations and educational institutions with grants.
It was an intriguing idea. But how to start? And when? I am busy with this dissertation and with some other academia, but if my contract can't be renewed and I don't find another place to work (difficult in this economy -- there are currently ZERO jobs for which I am qualified posted in my field within a two-hour driving radius -- and I am quite qualified for many things), then I need to start creating a job for myself. Imagine my surprise when, at the end of a long meeting this evening, someone walks up to me and says "So, you know grants? I'm part of an organization that [insert description here of a place that I would love because it works with "thugs" and I enjoy doing that], and we are going to meet with a national organization next week about applying for a federal grant. Would you be interested in helping us?"
Would I?
Would I?
YES.
But I also must be realistic about everything else in my life. And so I've asked this person to e-mail me with details and then I'll think about it and see what happens. I can already tell that there is going to be a lot of conversation around this, pages written during my morning writing time, and lots of walks with Lotus necessary to see where to go from here.
I know that I still want to stay in education. I want to work with young adults and adults. There are so many things that I could do, some more appealing to others.
Maybe this is just a stepping stone to what I really want to do. Or a Detour sign on Life's Highway. Maybe it's practice for something I'll need later in life. Or a connection that I need now. Or maybe it's a lot of hooey. I don't know.
But I do find it funny that these conversations happened on the same day.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Week Five: Possibility
It seems that I may need to switch my plans and schedule a bit and have both morning and evening pages. One of the suggestions in Week Five of The Artist's Way is to create a list of areas where we would need or like guidance -- write this list in the evening before bed, and then think about it and write about those thoughts the next morning during morning pages. I have found that I tend to dream up solutions (quite literally!) to problems or issues and so this suggestion makes sense to me.
This chapter is all about being open to the sense of possibility, to the knowledge that God or the Universe or the Great Creator actually has limitless possibilities available to us: we are the ones that limit ourselves. Synchronicity, something I've discussed a few times on this blog already, is one of the ways in which I see limitless possibilities stretch before me. It may sound silly or ridiculous to others -- and that's okay, because I am learning not to care about what other people think (or at least I want to get to a place where negative opinions no longer debilitate me). Yesterday I wrote that if I had all the time in the world I would perhaps learn to sew a bit more. Today I think the universe gave me a message: What are you waiting for?? I stumbled upon this tutorial for a levi apron and it looks cute, fun, easy, but a bit of a step up from what I've been doing. I think I'm going to try it! And then we'll see what else I can try. True, it's not sewing lessons and I'm not looking for anything more complicated than sewing in a straight line, but it should be fun.
And maybe this new desire to sew, to create, to paint, to do all these things will lead to creating my own little space. I've always wanted a closet-office or cloffice -- and not like the dark, ugly little cubby-hole at work with its industrial-yellow walls and lack of windows. No, I want a cute space that is organized and accessible, where I can retreat by myself. This may take some time. Not only do I not have an available closet right now, I also don't have the money to get a desk, organizational bins, and all the other things that in my mind are a part of this beautiful space. But that's okay -- those things will come in time once I give myself the space to work.
In this week's chapter, there is a section called The Virtue Trap, and it is something to which I can relate very well. It's so much easier, it seems, to give up what I really want in favor of other people and their needs. That's what we're told to do from an early age: don't be selfish, put others first, always be helpful. There are times when I do just want to be left alone. I want quiet. I want to work on my own projects in my own time. I still love helping people, serving others. It's just that sometimes I, like I imagine many others, forget to take care of myself. And I think that I forget that by taking care of myself I am more equipped to take care of others. It is a lesson that I've been trying, recently, to learn.
So the tasks this week will be interesting. Hopefully we have sunny weather so that Lotus and I can go on plenty of walks as I think about these things.
This chapter is all about being open to the sense of possibility, to the knowledge that God or the Universe or the Great Creator actually has limitless possibilities available to us: we are the ones that limit ourselves. Synchronicity, something I've discussed a few times on this blog already, is one of the ways in which I see limitless possibilities stretch before me. It may sound silly or ridiculous to others -- and that's okay, because I am learning not to care about what other people think (or at least I want to get to a place where negative opinions no longer debilitate me). Yesterday I wrote that if I had all the time in the world I would perhaps learn to sew a bit more. Today I think the universe gave me a message: What are you waiting for?? I stumbled upon this tutorial for a levi apron and it looks cute, fun, easy, but a bit of a step up from what I've been doing. I think I'm going to try it! And then we'll see what else I can try. True, it's not sewing lessons and I'm not looking for anything more complicated than sewing in a straight line, but it should be fun.
And maybe this new desire to sew, to create, to paint, to do all these things will lead to creating my own little space. I've always wanted a closet-office or cloffice -- and not like the dark, ugly little cubby-hole at work with its industrial-yellow walls and lack of windows. No, I want a cute space that is organized and accessible, where I can retreat by myself. This may take some time. Not only do I not have an available closet right now, I also don't have the money to get a desk, organizational bins, and all the other things that in my mind are a part of this beautiful space. But that's okay -- those things will come in time once I give myself the space to work.
In this week's chapter, there is a section called The Virtue Trap, and it is something to which I can relate very well. It's so much easier, it seems, to give up what I really want in favor of other people and their needs. That's what we're told to do from an early age: don't be selfish, put others first, always be helpful. There are times when I do just want to be left alone. I want quiet. I want to work on my own projects in my own time. I still love helping people, serving others. It's just that sometimes I, like I imagine many others, forget to take care of myself. And I think that I forget that by taking care of myself I am more equipped to take care of others. It is a lesson that I've been trying, recently, to learn.
So the tasks this week will be interesting. Hopefully we have sunny weather so that Lotus and I can go on plenty of walks as I think about these things.
- List ten things I would love to do but don't feel "allowed" to do.
- List ten wishes, even if they're frivolous.
- The reason I can't really believe in a supportive God...list five grievances (As Julia Cameron says, "It's okay, God can take it." :-)
- Start an image file of pictures that correspond with If I had faith or money I would try...
- List (again) five imaginary lives and see if anything has changed. Find images to match.
- If I were 20 and had money...list five adventures and find pictures to match.
- If I were 65 and had money...list five postponed pleasures and find pictures to match.
- Ten ways I am mean to myself are...
- Ten items I would like to own that I don't are...
- My favorite creative block is...(I think I'll explore the ramifications of this last one in my morning pages).
Week Four: Check In
In looking back at my tasks for last week of The Artist's Way, I realize that I did not make a special place for me. So that is still in the works, but I did write my morning pages, think about myself at 80 (my 80 year-old self is being a bit elusive, but that's okay, I'll play hide-and-seek for a while), think about my perfect environment, and come up with an extended Artist's Date idea.
Now on to Week Five....
Now on to Week Five....
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Colorful creativity
There are many things that I love in life. At the top of the list, or at least somewhere near the top, are bright colors, art, crafts, and things that are free. When I can combine all four of those things it is a very good day. Today was one of those days.
A few weeks ago, I worked on painting a piece of easy geometric art. As I was painting, I thought "Surely there must be an easier way to get the same effect. I wonder what would happen if I used a bunch of paint swatches?" Unbeknownst to me at the time, that was the very same weekend that Jen at Life, Crafts, and Whatever had the exact same idea. And we weren't the only ones with this idea! That weekend, Ellen at Creative Passage also decided to create paint chip wall art! (Like I said earlier this year, life is full of synchronicity -- it never ceases to amaze me.)
I did not end up working on a paint chip wall art project that week because I needed supplies. I went to Lowe's and picked out a bunch of paint chips in every color that interested me (and while my Guilt Monster tried to make me feel bad about this, I pointed out that the paint chips are being put to good use AND I need to be thinking about a new color for my bathroom, so this is acceptable -- right? So there, Guilt Monster!)
I've had the frame for a long time, a purchase I bought one day on clearance thinking that the poster I wanted to frame was 11"x17" (turns out it was 12"x18" -- whoops). I also grabbed the ever-ready double-sided tape (my dear friend).
I used the paper in the frame as the mat on which to stick the paint chips:
Once I had a few started, I began staggering the chips, making sure to always cover the writing on the chips so it wouldn't distract from the colors.
Obviously Nora thought she could help. She chose colors by sitting on them.
It took me fewer than 20 minutes from start to finish.
The best part? It didn't cost a thing!!
I am sharing this here:
The "newbie linky" party at Debbiedoos!
And...
A Little Lovely
A few weeks ago, I worked on painting a piece of easy geometric art. As I was painting, I thought "Surely there must be an easier way to get the same effect. I wonder what would happen if I used a bunch of paint swatches?" Unbeknownst to me at the time, that was the very same weekend that Jen at Life, Crafts, and Whatever had the exact same idea. And we weren't the only ones with this idea! That weekend, Ellen at Creative Passage also decided to create paint chip wall art! (Like I said earlier this year, life is full of synchronicity -- it never ceases to amaze me.)
I did not end up working on a paint chip wall art project that week because I needed supplies. I went to Lowe's and picked out a bunch of paint chips in every color that interested me (and while my Guilt Monster tried to make me feel bad about this, I pointed out that the paint chips are being put to good use AND I need to be thinking about a new color for my bathroom, so this is acceptable -- right? So there, Guilt Monster!)
I've had the frame for a long time, a purchase I bought one day on clearance thinking that the poster I wanted to frame was 11"x17" (turns out it was 12"x18" -- whoops). I also grabbed the ever-ready double-sided tape (my dear friend).
I used the paper in the frame as the mat on which to stick the paint chips:
Once I had a few started, I began staggering the chips, making sure to always cover the writing on the chips so it wouldn't distract from the colors.
Obviously Nora thought she could help. She chose colors by sitting on them.
It took me fewer than 20 minutes from start to finish.
I am sharing this here:
The "newbie linky" party at Debbiedoos!
And...
A Little Lovely
If I had all the time in the world...
...I would learn to sew. Properly. I think.
For years, I refused to have anything to do with sewing or anything that could be evenly slightly, remotely related to something a seamstress might do. Part of the reason for that was because when I was young, I was forced to take several years of sewing lessons. These lessons included tips on how to make your own pastel-colored, gigantic-floral-patterned jumper, complete with matching 2" buttons running the length of said jumper. The outfit looked something like this:
Imagine bigger. More floral. With buttons. On someone well over three years of age. Then try to imagine being told to be excited because -- guess what! -- that was your one new outfit a year. And you got to make it yourself!
There was a reason that I ran fast and far whenever someone started talking about sewing their own clothes. For years, the hideous mental image that was permanently scarred onto my brain (when all other memories of life before age 19 or 20 were blocked) was all that I could see when I heard the words sew and clothes in the same sentence.
In my early adult years, things slowly started to change. I bought a sewing machine, even though for ten years (or was it closer to 15?) I swore I'd never touch one again. I started sewing quilts, quillows, and working on little projects that struck my interest. Then honey asked me to hem a pair of pants, fix a sweater, and I realized that I would have to use the words sew and clothes in a sentence.
Several years later, my best friend's mother started sewing clothes. At first, I was afraid to look at those clothes. But -- wonder of wonders! -- I found that instead of looking like a hideous pair of pastel overalls on a giant toddler, the clothes that this woman made were beautiful. She stuck to sheath dresses in pretty prints and everything looked like it could've walked out of The Loft or some other fashionable retailer.
Now I've decided that I am okay with home-sewn clothes as long as they look handmade NOT homemade. My skills are non-existent, but I am open to the skills of others. And now I enjoy collecting fabrics and supplies for sewing -- I just happen to stick to creating things like quilts and aprons instead of clothes.
All of that to say that I entered a giveaway on a blog that I follow, and I won two adorable pin cushions!! I am so excited about this!! And the fact that I can be so happy that I am dancing in my seat thinking about sewing supplies...that is the true miracle.
Thank you, Ellen, of Creative Passage, for this amazing giveaway! Keep crafting! :-) (And for those of you who want to see what Ellen does, please visit her blog using the link in this post or the button to the side of my posting page.)
For years, I refused to have anything to do with sewing or anything that could be evenly slightly, remotely related to something a seamstress might do. Part of the reason for that was because when I was young, I was forced to take several years of sewing lessons. These lessons included tips on how to make your own pastel-colored, gigantic-floral-patterned jumper, complete with matching 2" buttons running the length of said jumper. The outfit looked something like this:
Imagine bigger. More floral. With buttons. On someone well over three years of age. Then try to imagine being told to be excited because -- guess what! -- that was your one new outfit a year. And you got to make it yourself!
There was a reason that I ran fast and far whenever someone started talking about sewing their own clothes. For years, the hideous mental image that was permanently scarred onto my brain (when all other memories of life before age 19 or 20 were blocked) was all that I could see when I heard the words sew and clothes in the same sentence.
In my early adult years, things slowly started to change. I bought a sewing machine, even though for ten years (or was it closer to 15?) I swore I'd never touch one again. I started sewing quilts, quillows, and working on little projects that struck my interest. Then honey asked me to hem a pair of pants, fix a sweater, and I realized that I would have to use the words sew and clothes in a sentence.
Several years later, my best friend's mother started sewing clothes. At first, I was afraid to look at those clothes. But -- wonder of wonders! -- I found that instead of looking like a hideous pair of pastel overalls on a giant toddler, the clothes that this woman made were beautiful. She stuck to sheath dresses in pretty prints and everything looked like it could've walked out of The Loft or some other fashionable retailer.
Now I've decided that I am okay with home-sewn clothes as long as they look handmade NOT homemade. My skills are non-existent, but I am open to the skills of others. And now I enjoy collecting fabrics and supplies for sewing -- I just happen to stick to creating things like quilts and aprons instead of clothes.
All of that to say that I entered a giveaway on a blog that I follow, and I won two adorable pin cushions!! I am so excited about this!! And the fact that I can be so happy that I am dancing in my seat thinking about sewing supplies...that is the true miracle.
Thank you, Ellen, of Creative Passage, for this amazing giveaway! Keep crafting! :-) (And for those of you who want to see what Ellen does, please visit her blog using the link in this post or the button to the side of my posting page.)
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