Heaven in a Crockpot

I've been thinking about getting a crockpot -- a nice, fancy one with a timer -- for a while, but learning that my sister makes her own rice pudding using a crockpot sealed the deal.  Rice pudding? That I can throw together and ignore and still have it be fabulous? You mean I can have rice pudding whenever I want it?!?  Oh yes.  I needed a crockpot.  This week, thanks to Costco and my obsession, I finally have one.

Now my sister has her own recipe.  It is good, but it requires cooked rice.  Why would I want to cook rice and then put it in a crockpot for hours?  I went in search of another recipe.  I found three more -- onethat required cooked rice, two that did not, all claiming to be the best and all of them different.  So what did I do?  I combined what I liked about all four into one, plugged the crockpot in and waited.  I think that I can safely say "I've found THE One!"

Recipe

• 1.5 c. long grain (white) rice (I used sweet rice that I bought at the Asian market -- it's not sweet in itself, but it's used for making desserts because of its sticky consistency)
• 2 cans evaporated milk (I used one non-fat, one regular can)
• 1 can sweetened condensed milk
• 5 c. additional liquid (I used 2 c. milk, 3 c. water)
• 1/2 c. brown sugar
• 1/2 c. melted butter
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1 tsp. cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp. nutmeg
• pinch of kosher salt

Mix all together and cook on high for 4.5 hours, mixing once or twice to make sure everything is absorbing evenly. (The mixing probably isn't necessary since it's done at the beginning, too, but I couldn't leave well enough alone.)

This makes a lot of rice pudding -- probably enough for a large (12? 15?) dinner party to have for dessert.  Or I could give in to temptation and eat it all myself...rice and milk's a good dinner, right?

(P.S. Thank you, Nay!)

(P.P.S. Here are the other recipes I consulted: http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/slow-cooker-caramel-rice-pudding/7dff925e-9ea1-495e-9417-1f3bcd1a18f8, http://www.food.com/recipe/old-fashioned-slow-cooker-rice-pudding-192661, http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/2009/03/crockpot-rice-pudding-recipe.html)

Things I love about Fall...

The fruits of my spring and summer labors...(at least a few of them).

Canning!
First time ever this year -- and looking forward to a BIG session in a few weeks!

Can anything be better than food directly from the garden?

The sucker explains

Now I have to decide what to do.  I was very, very angry earlier this weekend.  First of all, we have First Friday Family Dinner the first Friday of every month.  It has been this way for ages.  The dinner involves family plus people I love as family and it is at my house.  I make everything.  I love to feed people.  This month was supposed to be special -- the whole meal involved crops from the garden.

Of course at the last minute, all family members (except Tin Man and Buster) bail out.  "We have other plans!" They said.  Really?  You know that dinner is the first Friday of every month and yet you don't bother to tell me you won't be able to make it until after I've fixed food for 20 people?  And then The Cougar sent a text after dinner started to say that she won't be able to make it.  (That was fine, I am still angry about that situation.)

You know who did make it?  A few friends that I love.  And we had such an enjoyable time.  I'm to the point where I would really like to wash my hands of family and a few others and just let them rot.  I can make my own new family.

But I have The Teenager...who just happens to be acting like a teenager and driving me nuts with his horrible attitude, irresponsibility, and lack of respect.  We're going to have a "come to Jesus" talk here in a bit because if he wants to stay here he needs to shape up.  Otherwise, he can return to his mother and be a high school drop out like he was before he came here.  But if he chooses to stay here, I can't abandon all the other family members.  The Teenager needs a chance at a connected family and he has no idea they are such turds.

That is it.  That is as nice as I can be about some people.

Family and close (or formerly close) friends have taught me a few things:

1). Never trust anyone.
2). People are selfish.
3). People only like you if you do something for them. And if you live on a budget and make it work, some people think that you have money to just toss away and resent you when you don't give them your money.
4). People don't appreciate the kindness of others.
5). Words of love mean nothing without action.
6). Being crazy, whores, and liars is genetic.
7). Being around family may turn a sane, loving person into someone who considers becoming an alcoholic.
8). People will always disappoint.
9). No one wants advice, even if they ask for it.
10). Life is always full of surprises and they aren't all good.

The worst part is that I am a very kind, optimistic person most of the time and I tend to trust that people will make sensible decisions, will stay true to their word, and will be kind.

It is really sad to me that the people I was supposed to be closest to are the people I can't trust or rely on at all.  And now this introvert feels even more isolated.

Looking for the last straw

Sometimes I wonder what it takes to find "the last straw."  I have a deep well of patience tried and tested over a life that feels longer than its mere chronology.  And so sometimes I wonder what makes the difference between someone who is patient, loving, and forgiving, and someone who is just a sucker.

Perhaps the difference is that the sucker keeps going back to the situation while a patient and loving person can say "I love you, but I am not doing this again."  Maybe it's about boundaries.

I am a sucker.

(I wrote a bunch and when I tried to post I got an error message.  This is all that was saved.  Needless to say it does not improve my mood!  Ever have one of those says when you think it might feel really, really good to throw something through a window?  Welcome to my life.)

The Cougar Saga

Dear Friend,


You may have noticed that I've been avoiding your phone calls.  Sure, I'll text.  I'll write emails.  And when I have to pick up the phone I will, and we'll talk.


But that doesn't mean I'm happy.


I don't handle conflict well.  No one in my family does, and we've all developed maladjusted ways of dealing with whatever conflicts arise.  Some of us are very "loud & proud," while some, like me, tend to avoid situations that make us uncomfortable.


The situation with you makes me very, very uncomfortable.  More than that.  It makes me speechless.  So much so that I had to use thesaurus.com to find words to express the way I feel.  It seems that uncomfortable has some synonyms that I find apt: afflictive, agonizing, annoying, awkward, bitter, difficult, disagreeable, distressing, excruciating, galling, grevious, hard, incommodious, irritating, thorny, torturing, troublesome, vexatious, wearisome. Yes, wearisome.  It seems that a good portion of my day, try as I might, I just can't completely block the situation from my mind.


Part of the problem is that I like to explain things.  To me, everything -- the reason why The Teenager is sullen, why the dog is barking, why my house needs cleaning -- everything has a logical explanation.


Except this.


I do not understand Cougars.  At all.  Especially when the Cougar is preying on a Kid.


Hiding one's predatory tendencies may work for a while, but eventually there is a break.  And why even ask if I'm "okay with it" weeks after we've past the Too Late Now mile marker?  Does it even matter what I say...ever?  You've shown that you're going to do whatever you damn well please, regardless of consequences.


I don't have to like it.  And I don't have to stick around to see it, either.


You're on your own now.  Just remember that eventually the hunt draws to an end, and in that end someone always gets hurt.