Day 24: Something I wish I could change

We all have things about ourselves that we want to change.  At least I'm pretty sure that we do.  I would love to be thinner, have more definition between my chin and neck, and have permanently smooth legs.  But we don't always get what we want, do we?  I think that wanting something else, wanting change of some sort, is just a part of being human.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about change over the years.  My childhood was not the best.  Not the worst, by a long shot, since I didn't grow up as a child soldier or sold into prostitution and I didn't wind up in jail for stealing food to feed my family, but it was certainly no walk in the park.  I wouldn't wish my childhood on anyone, but I also wouldn't change the fact that I went through some pretty icky things, since those experiences made it so that I feel I can handle pretty much anything life throws my way.

So changing my appearance is out.  Changing my past is out, too.  What is left?  Aha! What about a more serious post for this part of the Thirty Day Challenge?  There are things in the world that I wish I could change.  There are wars, genocides, human trafficking, starvation...so many things I could list that it could be overwhelming.  I do believe that it's important to help change these things.  Some people are born to travel the world and never settle down, born to live like Mother Teresa.  I admire that.  But those people need money and encouragement as support for their missions, and so there are people born like me -- we find a way to send consistent support to the causes that we care about.  I'm not saying that money is a replacement for volunteer work or anything like that, just that both are necessary.  And so here are a few of the organizations that we support.  They do great work.  And I hope that maybe I can encourage others to support them, or similar organizations, as well.

Mercy Corps -- This organization responds to disasters (and many other situations) worldwide.  They make good use of their funds and I just love them.

Southern Poverty Law Center -- As a former social studies teacher, the issue of social justice is very important to me.  SPLC tracks hate groups (among its many responsibilities) and is very informative. In addition, they publish great teaching materials for K-12 education and give it to teachers for free!!  I have a number of videos (on VHS -- now they're offered on DVDs) that were so helpful when I wanted to highlight a particular point.  Their Teaching Tolerance website is amazing.  Seriously.  If you're in education (whether a public/private school teacher or home schooler), check them out.

 Food Banks: When I grew up, I had a lot of "food insecurity."  I didn't know it at the time.  The phrase is something I've heard within the past few years.  It means that we were not starving, but many times we didn't know if or when there would be a next meal and sometimes meals were skipped because there just wasn't any food.  I have a little bit of an obsession with food now, which is revealed by my desire to make sure that everyone has enough to eat all the time.  As an adult, the first home that Honey and I bought was in a county that had a lot of poverty and food issues.  That's when we started supporting Marion-Polk Food Share.  We don't live there any more, but it's important to me to support them, to grow food and give it away, and eventually to make my garden productive enough that I can go to the local food bank and donate fresh produce every week.  I hate thinking that people might go hungry.

Day 23: My Favorite Book

I've had a book in my hands for as long as I can remember.  Wait, strike that: for longer than I can remember.  My memory is not very good.  But I know that I've been reading since age two and it's probably one of my favorite pastimes.  In fact, I know that I am either too depressed or too busy (or both) when I can't find the energy to read.  (This has happened a lot in the past two years, so I've slowed down with reading, but I recently ordered the latest Sarah Vowell book so I know I'll have a good read soon.)  It is why when I got to today's task in the Thirty Day Challenge that I thought (like most other days), how am I supposed to answer this?

I could just point you to my version of the top 100 fiction books to read.  That might give you some indication of the books that I like.  But maybe this post requires more specifics?  What kind of categories should I use?  There are just too many good books!  My years as a humanities major, a language arts teacher, and a social studies teacher did not prepare me to narrow my book choice to one, and so I'll provide a variety.


Favorite children's book: When I was young, one of my favorite books was Possum Magic.  It didn't matter that I was a bit too old for picture books, I loved this story.  I still have a copy.

In my library there are a few shelves devoted to books and literature for children and young adults.  There are few things I love more.  Several years ago I wrote a children's book and sent it away to a few places for publication but was unsuccessful in that attempt.  My family tells me that the story is good, but can you really take the opinions of family?  A friend reminds me that people like Stephen King had numerous books rejected before finding success.  So perhaps I should try, try, try again.  In my mind's eye, the illustrations to my story would be bright and colorful, like in another children's book that I adore: Weslandia.

My mother-in-law first told me about this book because it reminded her of Honey.  Perhaps that's a reason why I love it.  But I think it's adorable and I make sure that it's a part of baby shower gifts because every kid needs this book.

An excellent biography:
When I was in high school I had the biggest crush on a long-dead historical figure: Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain.  He was an intellectual, brilliant, and he ended up rising through the ranks of the military in the Civil War (even though he, like many, would've preferred to stay out of the war altogether). 

Alice Rains Trulock wrote In the Hands of Providence and I read it cover to cover several times while in high school.  When the film Gettysburg came out (1993?), I transferred at least part of my crush to Jeff Daniels, who played Chamberlain.  (Imagine my surprise and disappointment when I learned that this role was far different than Jeff Daniels' usual roles!)

A good piece of literature:
I've read a few (not many) pieces of Russian literature.  Most of it is very hard to slog through, in my opinion, but I loved The Master and Margarita.

 A book that I carried with me through many moves:

Honey and I met in high school.  That year, we were both involved in the production of Much Ado About Nothing -- me as Benedict, Honey as Leonato.  (For the record, we were in a small community -- neither one of us has a thespian bone in our body.) 

This is my favorite Shakespeare play, not just because we have fun memories but because it is so funny. 

A great non-fiction book (about a sad topic):
I tend to enjoy nonfiction books written by journalists, probably because they are used to writing in a way that makes people want to read.  They tend to be good storytellers, it's just that the stories happen to be true (most of the time).

Adam Hochschild has written a number of books about different events in history and all of his books are very readable and informative.

An addictive series:
A friend of mine gave me Diana Gabaldon's book Outlander one year so that I would have something to read on the plane.  What an obsession that started! 

Outlander is the first -- and shortest -- book in a series that is set in Scotland & and US in the 18th & 20th centuries.  So good!

A feel-good read:
Anything by Alexander McCall Smith is, in my mind, a feel good read.  I love his writing style and his stories. 

My bookshelves in the library that Honey and I built are filled with books.  And I've given away boxes and boxes of books. 

Still, the bookshelves barely hold everything.  Books are definitely one of my obsessions.

Flavorful Sweet Potato Soup

The spring in the Northwest is fickle.  We had lovely weather yesterday: sunny, 70s, beautiful.  Today we were back to rain and the low-50s.  It was a good soup day.

Every Sunday evening I make dinner in a large enough quantity that Honey and I have leftovers to take as lunches throughout the week.  Since we had plenty of potatoes and a few sweet potatoes, I decided that it was time to make a potato soup.  It had been a while, and I was getting a bit bored with bean or lentil soups.  After spending some time at a potato soup recipe website, I created my own version of a soup based on several that I found there.

 Ingredients:

• 1 large onion, chopped
• 4lbs sweet potatoes (or yams), chopped (into bite-sized bits)
• 2lbs potatoes, chopped
• 2 large carrots, grated
• 2 bell peppers, finely chopped
• 3 jalepenos, finely chopped
• 1 bunch scallions, chopped
• 1 bunch cilantro, chopped
• 2" ginger, grated
• 1 TBSP minced garlic
• 1 tsp. cumin
• 1 TBSP red pepper flakes
• 1/2 tsp. hot New Mexican red chili powder
• 1-3 tsp olive oil 
• 10 c. chicken broth (I use water + chicken bullion)
• grated cheese to taste

 In a LARGE stock pot, saute onions in oil for a few minutes until soft, then add sweet potatoes, potatoes, and garlic and saute for about five minutes.

Add chicken broth and bring to a boil.  When boiling, add the carrots, half of the chopped jalepenos, and the grated ginger.

When the potatoes are cooked (about 20 minutes), remove 1/3 of the soup and puree the rest (I use an immersion blender -- works like a charm!), then add the 1/3 back to the pot.

Add the bell peppers, spices, and remainder of the jalepenos.  Cook for 2-3 minutes.

Serve soup with cheese, cilantro, and scallions. Easy!

I post my creations on many wonderful "party pages" and you can see the list here on my blog.

Grama's Green Stuff: A Recipe for Easter (or any other holiday)

The women in my family, at least my maternal side, do not cook.  (I am the exception and sometimes I think that my love of cooking was born out of necessity.)  My mother could burn soup, turn eggs green, and make "slumgullion," which I believe is Crazyspeak for "something that tastes so awful your body will trick you into thinking you're full just so you won't have to eat it." (Note: several dictionaries define slumgullion as "a watery meat stew." That is not the slumgullion we had growing up.  We had very little to eat and a house of nine, sometimes ten, to feed, so slumgullion was code for taking anything left in the fridge and/or freezer -- including condiments -- and mixing it in a large pot so that it looked like gruel to feed 10 people.)  My grandmother's specialty seemed to be mac-n-cheese (yum!) and chicken nuggets.  I do have to give these women some credit.  My mother made excellent chocolate chip cookies about once a year and she could make a mean enchilada casserole too.  Grama made excellent applesauce, rhubarb sauce, fried mushrooms, and...Green Stuff.

Grama's Green Stuff was -- is -- famous, at least in our family.  No holiday is complete without it.  And while some people say that it's "lime jello salad" or something along those lines, I silence all the blasphemers with a haughty glare.  It. Is. Not. Jello. Salad.  I hate jello and I love fruit but I am not a fan of anything that is fruity but smothered in some unknown, non-kosher gelatinous substance.  Grama's Green Stuff, however, is another matter.  When I got married, I asked for two things from Grama, things that only she could give: the recipe for Green Stuff, and a set of "wise guys" (more about that during the winter holiday season).  I got both things.  That's how I knew Grama loved me.

I know that my grandmother probably found this recipe in some 1950s magazine, just like she found her other standbys (beef stroganoff, for example -- the nostalgia of this recipe almost makes me wish I still ate beef).  But she did what she always does and added a bit of a twist of her own.  It's so good -- you've no idea.  Go ahead.  Try it.

Pour into a large stock pot:
1lb bag of mini marshmallows
2 c. milk

Heat over medium heat.  Stir constantly with wooden spoon.  When hot, add:

6oz package lime jello
16oz cream cheese
2 cans (15oz each) crushed pineapple (one can drained, one with liquid)

When cool, blend in:

12oz. Cool Whip
1 1/3 c. mayo (Best Foods/Hellman's)

Mix until well blended, put in dish (usually a 13"x9" and then a smaller dish for a bit of excess) and chill overnight.

As my Grama said, "Serves as many as you'd like."

I like to post creations at many different party pages -- check them out here.

Day 22: I wish I were better at many things

Life has not exactly returned to normal (as you may notice, since I'm still hiding from BlogLand), but it is heading in that direction and so I thought I would return to my Thirty Day Challenge posts.  Day 22 is supposed to be a picture of something I wish I could do better.  For a while I thought "You mean like completing a task on time?" since it's very clear that my Day 22 post is weeks delayed.  Then I thought about all the things I would like to improve or learn in my life.  I'd like to be able to knit without needing a loom to keep everything straight.  I'd like to crochet interesting patterns.  I'd like to be able to paint, sing, weed, listen to others, bake, focus on the task at hand, cook, listen to my intuition, express myself articulately, and handle life parenting a teenager better than I do right now.  I have these skills, to various degrees, but I am not as skillful as I would wish.

Then I started thinking about intangible qualities that I wish to improve.  And that's when I discovered my picture for today:

What is my biggest problem in life?  Saying "Yes!" or "sure" or "okay" or "I can do that, no problem" when in reality it is a problem.  A big problem.  I've said before that I need a least 36 hours to my day and most of that is because I agree to take on my problems, the world's problems, and every little task in between.  I have no idea how to say "no!"  I practiced for a while and then fell out of the habit.  That was a bad idea.  I should've prioritized the skill of saying no until it became an ingrained habit.  (Interestingly enough, this image came from this website that talks about learning to say no.)  Ask Honey and you'll find someone else who agrees -- I take on far too many tasks.  And many of them happen to be very time-consuming.  Just thinking about my list makes me tired.

So why do I do it?  I think that a lot of it has to do with feelings of guilt.  I want to help others and so if I can, I will.  I've put in many long days and nights because of this.  It got worse when I was unemployed for a while.  I felt guilty about not having an income and contributing in that way to the household and so I volunteered for just about every task under the sun.  A friend once commented that she thought I was far busier than she was and she had a full-time job.

Staying busy did not ease my guilt over being unemployed.  When I was finally hired again, I felt great -- and then realized that my salary was far lower than it had been previously (a common occurrence in this recession, from what I hear on NPR).  I was also only hired half-time.  And so I continued to take on additional tasks, fill my time, and stay very, very busy.  Others contributed to this with the "oh, you're just working part-time so you must have the time to do _____________," but really it was my own fault for agreeing -- over and over again -- to add so many to-do items to my list.

Recently, I've come to realize that I can do many things, but when I try to do those many things all at once I can't do anything well. (My Guilt Monster chimes in and says, "Really, Dr. Genius? You just recently figured this out??"  Yes, Guilt Monster.  Even geniuses have blind spots.)  Now that I am done with my degree I have to take some time to sit down and figure out what it is that I do.  I kept thinking that one day I would be all grown up and I would suddenly know what to do with my life, but that day hasn't arrived.  I enjoy many things.  I take on many tasks that I don't enjoy.  One day, if I'm not careful, I worry that I'll wake up and realize that I've not done anything truly great with my life and it's too late.  At least that's my fear.  And so with that in mind I've decided to refocus my efforts on being intentional.  We'll see what happens for the rest of this year.  In the meantime, I think I need to make a "just say no" sign and carry it around with me until the habit becomes ingrained.