The past two nights I have had very strange dreams. Those who know me well know that vivid dreams are nothing new to me. When I get too warm, I have nightmares about murders, serial killers, and fleeing for my life. When I am stressed about a new job or upcoming presentation, I usually dream about that. When I am getting ready to teach a new subject, the lesson plans float around in my head, allowing me to dream but not giving me any restful sleep. And so with all of these specters, it is unusual for me to wake up surprised or confused by a particular vision.
The night before last, however, was the first of two odd dreams. I dreamed that my grandmother came to visit and brought her mother with her. I greeted her and she looked so happy and healthy -- so did great-grandma! -- and she told me that they would be staying for a while. She then proceeded to tell me about all of their traveling. It sounded wonderful! I woke up and was saddened when I realized it was all a dream. These loved ones have passed away and now are only that healthy and happy in my memory.
Last night was more bizarre. Let me back up and say that I have never had a dream about giving birth (although I have had dreams about children) and I have no desire for children of my own. The Teenager, My Baby, and all of My Kids who are now adults and with issues of their own take quite enough time and energy, thank you! But last night I dreamed that I was sitting on the floor in the bathroom and I (very quickly) gave birth to a beautiful little girl. I think she was Vietnamese. Her skin was white and plastic-y and she wasn't breathing; I was so worried that she was dead! In my dream I called "Wake up, wake up! Please be okay!" as I smacked her rear and tried to clear the mucus from her mouth and nose. She coughed, sputtered, and then regained her color. I exhaled a huge sigh of relief and picked her up.
Now, here is where it gets really strange: she wrapped her tiny baby arms around me and squeezed tightly as she said "I love you! I love you! I love you!" Of course I told her how much I loved her and then Honey walked into the room, surprised to have missed so much in just a few minutes.
What is that supposed to mean? Maybe it means nothing, in which case I have no idea what kind of random information my brain was trying to process. Or maybe some dream interpreters on the internet are right -- it's some new project or aspect of me that I am birthing right now. Let me tell you, these past few weeks have felt like mental labor pains, so I would believe that interpretation.
I haven't been able to get these dreams out of my head. Then again, it's only been a day and maybe tonight I'll dream something even more surreal.